5/31/02 2:51... oh man i'm feeling contented at the moment.... so far still haven't slept... and just finally got some food in me... .so let's see.. yesterday was... well a very memorable night... failed a midterm i think first of all... but i was done quickly with it, so that was a plus.. gave me plenty of time to come home and prettified for the banquet... i thought i looked pretty good hehe... (and purposely wore my coolest feeling clothes to get some free petting/fondling action... from the men and the ladies hehe)... so first off i gotta say, Congratulations to Lisa & all who helped her out... for the theme of Tony Danza's Flying Camel Rodeo... Mitch did well with photoshop as well... let's see... EVERYONE (almost) was looking very nice... i always like when people dress up :)... although my dates for the evening left without me... :-( sadness... but i rolled in with others... made a trip up to the pub right quick to see who was upstairs... then rest of the time was in the banquet hall... got to sit with the johnson's, bear, rochester, nat, leah, wesson... err i think that's it.. but was fun... although i did just wander aimlessly for most of the night.. it's more fun that way... food was Pat & Oscars... seniors got to eat first, and i got cuts in front of Tina so i got my food nice and early, served myself... (ok ok... ummm forgive this random message type writng... basically stream of consciousness words are only form i'm comprehending... need much sleep... so this is just gonna be a race between my mind and my fingers on typing)... so got food, pasta, salad, meatsauce, bbq chicken AND their DOPE ASS BREADSTICKS...mmm was good... ate all quick and went a visiting again... kept stealing poeple seats for a min and then had to get up... over and over... unfortunately my humorous mood started to dampen a bit here.. cuz u start getting nostalgic a bit... this chapter of my life is comign to a close, and all the people in it... it's impossible to say who's gonna be written into the next passage... but overall mood was still bouyant... so then there were speeches & awards given out... and... well i was really really damn this sounds lame but touched that i won something... it's nice to be appreciated i guess... and its just a win win situation for me, cuz i just did what was fun for me the whole year... talking with almost everyone i could... although i admit not everyone... but it really really made me feel good... after those speeches and stuff came usually the highlight of the chp banquets is the slide show... MItch & Co. keep outdoign themselves each year... i mean it is incredilbe the scope of what they cover and how well they put it together with fade in and fade outs, funny captions and musical background... i pretty much stood there just swaying or bouncin to the music... singing along or pretending to mouth along :-p... and just smiling with every picture with a friend on it... clapping and cheering along with everyone else... yelling out names... it's a really fun experience... and then... pretty much the banquet was over. i mean they had a dj.. but man the chp doesn't know how to do music at a party.. i'm gonna throw on this summer that's gonna show them how it should be done... but yes.. i was feeling helpful i joined a few others in clearing off all the tables... it was quite a mission not to spill anything on myself... there were a couple close calls... of course i was taking the more dangerous missions of full liquid open containers in my trash bag... hehe... but then after a round of huggins and handshakes it was done... i had much fun, took pictures, ate well, and came away happy... ahh u'd think that'd be a good endyign to the night but, unfortunatley the night still progresses as we speak... so i fianlly sat down to write my lab report.... oh man did i just end up writing a PIECE! i'm ashamed of how crappy it turned out towards the end... ahh well... i did have some distaractions along the way... learned somthing new about someone, talked with others, listened to orginal music, visited ralphs, watched a little fifa, and thne by 8:00 i was DONE hooray... so i went in to the bathroom brushed my teeth threw on a shirt and got my ass to work... ugh was that horrible.. i think i was asleep wiht my eyes open.... nothign seeme dto be getting finished, the new intern kept asking me really simple questions... well ahh well it pays the bills... speakign of which iw as hoping to have one today.. a bill for a new hard drive, cuz circuit city had a sale i THOUGHT on a dope 80 gigger for 100 bux.. 7200 rpm and everyting... but NOOOO i get ther eand there's crap there... booo how am i supposed to copy everyign in time if i dont' got a hard drive? hehehe.. ahh well perhaps frys on the way home tomorrow... and so after circuit ctity it was mad dash to the biosci II to turn in my paper b4 2:30... whoo made it with like 12 minute to spare hahaha :-)... now now now.... we get home.. hop in the shower... heat up some sustenance... and now sitting and im-ing... and with this we come to the close of this entry... with one more note of me getting to have free beverages and more at the Reggae Fest Today :).... Who wants to stay and play tonight? call me up to let me know...! oh one last kick ass thign.. I get 6 hugs a day from now on :-p...
5/31/02 6:13 AM... man what a day.... unfortunatley still working on a paper so no time to write more... i dozed off for awhile... oops lol...
5/30/02 2:25 AM... ahh... sober dancing was a part of this night... incredible eh? for those of u who know of my signature style of not dancing if u could only look at me now... ahhaha just kidding.. actually just did the whole bob up and down thing, i guess... i dunno i don't think i'll be appearing on soul train nething soon... hahah... ugh.. well it was fun hanging with kristl & jason so that was good i guess... one thing though... i really really need to throw/organize parties... i could do sooo much better on music lol... ahh wells so now i can work... or go to bed... most likely the latter... one bad thing though recently... much too many thoughts floating around in my head... and in my experience thinking about stuff seems to be bad always... tends to just confuse myself more... hmm bedtime :) good night and sweet dreams everybody
5/29/02 8:44 PM... well i got some progress made, although i have spent the last hour almost watching tv... first off... i don't think EVERYBODY loves raymond... dunno just doesn't make me crack a smile i suppose... then i started watching mtv... i can't believe how stupid i feel after listening to whatever insipid vj is talking on screen... luckily they were actually playing music, crazy huh? i really wish i had mtv2 instead.... but watching mtv made me remember again how incredible the medium of music videos are... and the weird views people have of music videos... like first off many people complain (i'm pretty much talking females here, you'll see why) about how rap videos objectify women, you know just showing them scantily clad & grinding to the the beatz, but then these same people seem to be fans of the crappy pop (well i guess some is good, but majority = bleh) female singers, who basically do the same exact things with their own body? now how is that fair to criticize rap videos yet say nothing about female singers? also i really really like videos that kind of tell stories... saw Incubus's Warning video... the song itself is REALLY GOOD, and the video did a really good song of matching the tone and emotions of the song... i don't think i've seen a more expressive face on a woman in a looong time... music videos can be really well done, beating out most tv shows & films for quality... i think my favorite i've seen is Collective Soul - The World I Know, there's just something about that video that i really really liked... if anyone has it? do a guy a favor and get it to me somehow... BUT on the flipside music videos can ruin a song, well not ruin it, but ruin the images u have preconceived in your mind... hehe for example, there's that song So Addictive by truth hurts, i saw the video tonight... and well it's not bad (plenty of eye candy lol)... all except for the truth hurts chick... i dunno her face really creeps me out... i'd probalby run the other way if i saw her walking on the street i'd run away terrified.... she just doesn't look natural... okies back to work for me... still much happening tonight...
5/29/02 5:19 PM... aww cruddy... everytime i start to lose faith in my academic abilities, the mean gets lower :-p... hopefully this will stay true for the rest of the quarter... busy night tonight... probably won't sleep much til the weekend, if then :-( booo... had rite aid ice cream today though... so that was nice... and got a non-shuttle ride to school (thanks dave)... although got pissed off on the way home... i was thinking hey kool i'm gonna time this perfectly and catch the campus shuttle and be home before 4 no problem... but NOOO i don't understand why they have a shuttle schedule to follow, and then we just sit at the stupid campus drive stop for 15 minutes waiting for the bus driver replacement to come... man... and for some reason no airconditioning boooo....
5/29/02 1:27 AM... oh man i got even less done than possible, i think i even
created more work for myself somehow, but looking at the syllabuses... hee hee...
but night was good... swe2 again :-p... severe starbucks/starwars miscommunication
by peter oh man... it was great... and now... hmm i dunno what to do... although
i did get another starwars book... so i might be giving up sleep for that...
really wanted to do something else tonight... but well i guess i'll just have
to try another time... who knows what tomorrow will hold.
5/28/02 5:14 pm... so i think i really am finally getting servere senioritis... today i left a class cuz it felt too hot inside (of course i didnt wanna be there either, but temperature should be a valid excuse, no?). so what now today? i should be productivity, but unproductivity seems soo much more fun :-p... so i got a general thought question... are people really influenced from what they hear at a very young age in regards to what types of music they like? i bring this up, cuz they had some persian(?) musicians playing today, and i mean i can appreciate musical ability, but i really don't think i'll ever like the sound of the flute-type instrument they were playing... i dunno just didn't like it... ok chicago word time: Corduroy suit: so i get back to the hotel after the interview and have about 4-5 hours to kill before my ride to the airport... and so they suggest i go to the mall... so they call up this guy who does shuttle service for em and this black guy named johnny rolls up, in this decked out van.... and he's wearing a full corduroy suit... man he pulled it off... haha he was hilarious, cracked me up the whole way to he mall hehe... i still got his card :-)...
5/28/02 12:39 PM... ahh so far it's a damn good day... nice and sunny outside, no thoughts of how much work i have to do intruding onto my mood, and well it's kinda weird, but i got this kinda dull ache throughout my body that is actually feels good... i guess being active is actually good for you... i mean strectching and moving feels good hahaha... ahh well time to forage the student center for food & then attempt some homework (due in 3 hours hehe)... have a good rest of the day to all who read this :-)
5/28/02 12:28 AM... wow long weekend over... it actually ended pretty well.. had a surprisingly nice time at home with the parents... we all cooked together which was fun hehe... then came back and i honestly was gonna study... but i joined in the white trash weekend festivities and played some football... and i must say our team rocked, especially me hahaha... well i did score a couple times and qb'd decently... then i attempted to study... which went slightly well... i miss television... and i forgot to eat dinner today... ahh wells... unfortunately not all well & good in my mind though... worried about some possible bad news... & just really not wanting to face the future yet... sputid unknowns... and man aol im is being super lame tonight... keeps disconnecting me from my oh so important procrastinating conversations :-p... man mario's a bastard he's been sleepign since like 8 pm... that's ridiculous... i did get back at him, but calling him on the phone til he woke up so he could go opne the door for me hahahah :-p... ugh supertired & too much thinkign about stuff in my head/life that i won't put down here just yet... so that's all for now... but first another chicago word: 2.6: well after the dean interviewed me i got interviewed by a 4th year named kurt, that guy was super dope, we just talked about football and i asked him a lot about the school... newayz he was telling me how he had a 2.6 as an undergrad... haha so i guess there's hope yet :-p... but if he was representative of the students at the school... then all the people are super tight... okies... goodnight everybody... sweetdreamswarmsheetssoundsleep
5/26/02 9:17 PM... so a long weekend, whoopee... it would be WHOOPEE, but i really have too much stuff to catch up on... as u can see i've decided to avoid it some more with some profiling... so yesterday (daytime) blew... had to work for most of the day... there should be laws against working on saturdays... night was good... went to a reception for a wedding... food was good, got my fill of FREE rum and cokes, and got to talk with some people i hadn't seen for awhile... today has been a lot of sitting around... slighlty depressing, cuz of visiting a family friend (almost like a 2nd mother to me) in the hospital... i really never know what to do or say there... so i just smiled and told her my points of view on the wedding b4, (parents were there too) so all of us had good conversations.... BUT I really don't like the whole being a patient in a hospital (go figure cuz i wanna be a doctor haha) i thinkn it's just that as a patient you're automatically assumed to be helpless, which may not be the case... i really would hate to have that feeling assigned to me... even if it was partially true... newayz came back caught the end of the laker game, what a comeback... maybe they are predestined to win? but now sittin here trying to study, actually turned off the tv... but my eyes keep wandering to the random books of fiction i'd rather be skimming through at the moment :-)... had pick up stix tonight... man i love their house chicken, anyone wanna get some this week?... hmm actually not feeling too writey... so i guess i'll conclude here for now... BUT first another word from chicago: dean of finch - so the first guy who interviewed me was the dean, crazy huH? but he was really nice and told me i would probably make a good pediatrician... i guess i'll have to stop eating babies if i wanna do that (Jonathan Swift - A Modest Proposal, if you guys wanna read a great essay)... but yeah i thought it went really well :-)...
5/25/02 4:52 AM... hmm so much for going to bed early... and amazing how time goes by while conversing :-)... good night everybody... but before that: TIME - so being at the place so early.. .i just proceded to read all their time magazines they have... two points about that, i remember when i was younger i thought time was a pretty serious magazine.. but now they have really really lame parts, like that should be in 17 or vogue or something... and the second point... i liked reading time hehe it was fun and enteertainign, and since i read them b4 others got there... it looked like i had knowledge oeverying we were chattign about in the lounge areas inbetween interviews lol...
5/25/02 2:24 AM... ahh well that was fun... went and listened to some HIB 100 music... then been just hangin out in the dorms... so i me and bittu (friend o' mine), well we're instrumentally inept so we were just sitting and listening... and then bittu said that we should make paper airplanes... and oh man we did... it was INCREDIBLE... i havnen't had fun like that in awhile... my plane was INCREDIBLE X 2! oh yeah... man i used to love making all those b4 when i was younger... it's still got so much charm... i think we should have paper airplane nights every week... well i'm feeling kinda tired... so i won't write anymore, except for another chicago word explained: Earliness: so i thought the interview process was at 8:30... so i got up at like 5:30... that blew... but i wasn't too tired.. i just was fine osme hoem... even though technically it was 3:30 in cali :-P... but i made it there at 8 so i had 1.5 hours to kill... so i just wandered, and then well u guessed it i read some star wars for awhile hehe...
5/24/02 10:51 PM.... so yes last night was much fun... got to talk with people, hang out with people, play with people, laugh with people, smile with people, drink a bit with people, hug with people, and wake up with people... so i liked it. it was a night i was expecting to have much more instances of this year, and especially this quarter. Only one bad thing happened, that i'll get to today. So today was not too shabby... out on the shuttle & coffee hour with people... FINALLY got some errands taken care of, like paying rent (oops, but what are they gonna do, evict me now? hehe)... then i go to work... booooo... so much to do.. and then last night i got this special project from the head honcho himself... man i wish he had told me a LOT earlier... i have no idea how i'm gonna finish it b4 sunday (he wants it then)... so it looks like i'm gonna hve to wake up early saturday, like 6ish... and go to freaking work... and THEN i'm gonna try to make it to Tulika's (sis if u don't know, culture show... then a wedding... BUT i dunno it seems i might just work til i gotta go to the wedding... :(. Anyways went to Angel's Game today... they lost, but ahh wells. Now i'm not too big a fan of baseball, but i guess going in person is better. So we all piled in and made it to the stadium and walked up and up and up and up this ramp til we go to the seats... now these seats were really high (we did only pay 5 bux a seat heh) but the view was pretty good... so sat and watched i did a lot of food run escorting... highlights of the game were seeing "Welcome UC Irvine Campuswide Honors Prog" on jumbotron, The Rally-Monkey and Fireworks at the end. And what's stickign wiht me most tonight is.. well this next bit i'm gonna write: so there are all these vendors sellign stuff in the stands, like popcorn, or cotton candy and stuff... one guy, this tall white older, maybe like 30's guy, was selling ice cream... he kinda looks like my opthamalgist (that's eye doctor)... so anyways a couple of us bought a few... and then i saw these two like 8 year old kids come up and as the guy how much it was for 2 ice creams... he told them 7:50.... and at the moment both kids looked down to one guy's hand and then when they looked up they had like this huge heartbroken face on... and the vendor... well i think most vendors would just kinda move on, but htis guy looked at their hands and saw they only had 6.50... and he said, ahh don't worry about it.. and gave them the ice cream... i dunno but that just struck me as a really cool moment to have witnessed... i mean at that instant, i'm like woah, thats like one of the nicest guys i've seen... and then for some reason... as he was walking by i said hey... and handed him 4 qtrs.... and said that's to make up the difference for those kids ice cream, i dunno i kinda felt bad if his kind act was at the cost of him financially... so i just gave him a buck... weird huh? well i'm gonna leave this one at that for now...
5/24/02 9:00 AM... oh man... it's been a really good past 22 hours :)... more sleep would be good, but eh... yeah i'll probalby update in detail laters... but happy birthday hauske :-)...
5/23/02 5:10 PM... so i'm in a really good mood at the moment... though the day started crappily wiht a crappily written essay... but the rest of the day man it was really good... i went to ALL my classes, although i might have just read star wars books for fun all day in them.... but i guess what topped off the day is that well for the first time in awhile i actually felt the "click" of knowledge in one of my classes... it really is a great feeling understanding exactly what the professor is talking about... i wish i had that more this quarter... it'd make thigns much better... but ahh well i'll take what i can get... so i was thinkign about it... and with in the last 3 weeks... i've read maybe 4000... well at least 3000 pages for fun :-)... and i've never been busier haha... go figure... hmm some other highlights of the day... got a 2 dollar sandwich off of hauske... hung out with jen & tina in class... our combined note taking efforts were pretty dismal though hehe.. saw robin/andy/lisa on the way home and got a hug for my efforts & a potato chip :)... locus was very funny today as well... i really gotta keep a tape recorder in there... so many funny quotes i've forgotten hehe... in anycase unfortunately the day isn't over... i get to meet with the big boss of the company i work for at his house tonight at 7 cuz he wants me to do something... err weird huH? lol... hmm another random though... what the hell is up with the prefaded jeans... well i suppose they might look all right.. but what about the ones with just some randome faded patch on their ass? is it some kind of target? ahh wells... hmm let's see another random chicago word: Vending machine of evil - ok so that night i had no food at the moment so i was lookign at the hotel map and stuff so and lo and behold it said there were vending machines... now u'd think that woudl mean food, like a snickers bar or something... but nope... i looked and looked... all i coudl find was a soda machine... but guess what i've given up soda... well unless there's alcohol in it hehe... but they did have some sort of drink that was nonsoda, i forget what it was... so im' like kool i'll just like drink 2 of those and survive on the sugar... so i take out my wallet and... well for the next 10 minutes i try like 15 different one dollar bills ... before i decided it was just an evil machine sent by the gods to torment the thirsty... :-)
5/22/02 11:30 PM... FUCK... man i'm really really mad at
myself... i've been out of the loop for awhile with some people... and now i
just heard bad news about their family :-(... i just wanna kick myself cuz i'm
losing touch with people who i had so close to me... :-(...
5/22/02 11:14 PM... man i'm swamped with work once again... but just felt like a few thoughts... i really like walking places, as long as i got the time... been feeling really weird tonight... might be the lack of sleep, but not feeling my usual chipper self... stupid thoughts keep intruding on complacent happiness... the day otherwise was ok... still somehow staying afloat even though it seems like i'm drifting away... in anycase a really quick word explanation: "no Dinner" so i got to chicago late in the evening, and of course there's no food stand places open at the airport at the arrivals section... and i get to the hotel and they take forever to check me in... so by the time i get to the room no more roomservice :-(... not even walking distance nething... even if it was it'd be closed... y isn't everything 24hours? so yes... no food :( it blew...
5/22/02 8:13 AM... woo hoo finally bedtime... i really gotta start working on stuff early... but i do have a valid excuse and want 4 hours of my life back... will explain later but now i must succumb to sweet sweet slumber...
5/21/02 2:05 AM... so somehow i got so little done it was amazing... and i've decided that taking bio classes have been a huge waste of time.. i can't remember anything from the classes i've already taken :(... so it's feeling really really weird not having to go get a schedule of classes and register online like everyoen else is... i feel left out.. maybe erkki can give me a set of course codes anywayz hehe... well i'm actully gonna go to bed now (perhaps fall asleep reading for fun) plan is to wake up at... hmm.. 6:30 to work oncea gain... maybe closer to 7:30 we'll see hee hee... if anyone's up then i'll be happy to talk to u then instead of doing homework then lol... ok but b4 i go next word of the trip: #3. Life Story - so i got picked up by this van to take me to the hotel from the airport... he was a really nice guy but for soem reason he decided to explain to me how his van business worked, so if u have any questions about that i got ALL the answers... then he proceded to tell me about his entire life story... well working life story about he was an electrical engineer, then had a construction company, but now he's not liscenced in illinois so he drives a cab basically.. this is all well and good BUT the whole time he was A) going even slower than the lame 55 mph.. and 2) i swear he was looking more back at me talking than he was forward... which really didnt make me feel too safe in the car... that and the fact he asked me a couple times what the exit he was taking was... hehe.. but i made it to the hotel safe and sound :-) so i guess alls well that ends well... GOOD NIGHT!
5/20/02 9:45 PM... mmm goddamn i love olive garden... buncha us went... lisa beat me in a soup eating contest... i got stuffed... 2 girls at the table started unbuttoning their pants AND mad three way race home... but now back to studying hehe... ok word number 2: 55 mph - ok so i'm soooo glad that we live in so cal where they actually drive fast... in chicago they have limits set at 55.. ridiculous... oh silly rest of america :-p
5/20/02 4:29 PM... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TULIKA (my sister in case anyone was wondering...)
Finally you can drink (err legally hehe)... AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY Bittu! (one of
my oldest friends) ok ok now back to myself hehe... sorry bout not keepin up
to date with this... it seems everytime i want to work on this, this site goes
down :-(... anyways let's see... it was a decent weekend... parental time at
home was kept down to a new low record of 8 hours... so that was cool... no
time for either of us to get on each others nerves hehe... Fri night was much
fun... got to hang out with my friend rishi, who was in between his semester
& summer session break... man haven't seen that guy forever... so that was
good... saturday consisted of... hmm well my car got its smog check (i think
it's the biggest scam ever by the way...) in the 2 hours that took (LAME) i
did skim read about 1000 pages hehe :-)... then came back to irvine for miss
Christina's party (much fun was had by all there)... sunday morning though ugh...
not feeling good... slept til 3 which was just in time to catch a ride to the
scrumptious bonfire... i have decided some guy needs to invent a super fast
way to cook hamburgers... i hate waiting in line for em... i think what also
is unfair is that veggie burgers take up valuble grilling space... they should
be required to eat it cold or something :-p... came back and effectively wasted
the entire rest of the night... well wasted it not being productive, i enjoyed
myself much hehe... so now to go back in time... each time i update i'm gonna
pick a key word from the other day and expound upon it... so here goes: Fat
Smelly Woman - So i get on the plane in Ontario Airport and we're on our way
to Phoenix for the lay over... i thought i lucked out cuz no one was gonna sit
by me... but noOoOo... this lady, whom apparantly they were paging cuz she was
late.. came and sat in my row... and she did have some weird funky smell...
that and i swaer in the 80 minute flight she had to get up like 4 times midflight..
whcih mean i had to get up 4 times midflight, cuz economy class wasn't meant
for easy passage across seats for some... ahh luckily i had a book to immerse
myself in hehe... okies that's about it for now... of course i'll be writing
more today most likely... i have soo much work to do, it just figures i'll put
on more time here :-)
5/17/02 2:14 AM... guess who's back, back again... ankur's back, tell a friend...
well got much to say, but am too tired from the plane hopping... so here's some
keywords i can expand on later either here or in person: Fat Smelly Woman, 55
mph, Life Story, No dinner, Vending machine of evil, earliness, TIME, dean of
finch, 2.6, Corduroy Suit, Gurnee Mills, New Guy, Navy, Corduroy Suit II, Life
Story II, 5 minutes in Vegas, ride home. okies.. that's it for now... goodnight
everybody :-)
5/15/02 8:00 AM... i'll be glad when friday's here... i got butterflies the
size of really really big moths in my stomach :-/... adios!
5/14/02 10:24 PM... jeebus what a long day... and somehow i managed to finish all my work... nothing like starting on it the day its due... evening has been eh... on the positive side i played dungeon siege for the first time, man it's good... and can possibly cause me to take a 6th year hehe... on the negative... i have much to do and nothing has started yet... i feel like hibernating... Lunch today had a 3 dollar chicken quesadilla... it was pretty good...
5/14/02 - 1:08 AM... oh yeah one more kick ass thing... Kinko's is soo rawsome... i used their Customer Courtesy Phone for FREE! to call home and leave a msg for the roommate haha... it's pretty freakign rawsome... free local calls hehe...
5/14/02 - 1:03 AM... oh man... new procrastinating levels have been reached... but i think i'll just sleep... hopefully the homework fairies are around to do it for me... i left them beer and cookies just like they always like :-P... zzzz...
5/12/02 - 11:09 PM... soup makes things better, i suppose laughing does too :-)
5/12/02 - 2:50 AM... can't sleep... but don't feel like writing quite yet... perhaps in the morning... one good thing though... was able to distract myself with RISK, is there anything that game cannot do? good night everybody.
5/11/02 - 7:20 PM... so today has been a really really weird and probably mostly bad day... this afternoon my usual techniques of being able to relax while watching tv or burying myself in a book (i'm a big fan of escapism) didn't work at all... i thought even taking a nap might help but nothing... head was too tired even sleep have way too much running through my head so i'm gonna try to use this to sort some it out perhaps... so if u read on, i guess just a) ignore incoherency or b) maybe skip this post completely, not my usual self today c) do nothing... so i went to a funeral for a family friend this morning... funerals man i don't like them at all... so i was sitting there and just listening to what everyone was saying about the guy and stuff but then had a lot of stuff going through my mind at the time... a little back story, the guy who died, had been in a coma since august, died of a heart attack just this past week, he also was bengali like me, AND just happened to be my dad's roommate for 4 years all through college... now one thing i was thinking about is really how lucky i am to be living in southern california and being bengali, i dunno how many of you have this in some way, maybe for "whites" (forgive the categorization, but's the only way to make some sort of distinction) you'll be able to understand if u just think about your close relatives... anyways being bengali here pretty much automatically binds you socially to a lot of the other bengali's living in southern california... for the majority of us here, you have pretty much no relatives in the united states, so for social support (at least this is my theory about the matter) bengali families get really close to each other almost familial... it's a way to keep some sort of culture going and just well you feel comfortable around others like you... now i'm guessing everyone reading this knows me, so u probably know that one of my main reasons for not joining the indian club on campus and stuff is that i don't like how a lot of them only hang out with indians, BUT i guess i'm a hypocrite because i really admire the bonds my parents have with all their bengali friends... i don't know how to describe it completely, but it's like i have an instant extended family if i need it... seriously, i don't think any of us kids have tested it, but i think that a good amount of the family friend's parents i know would be willing to help any of us out as if we were there own kids, sure there's a couple assholes, but every group has them... but today i just kept htinking how amazing what my parents & co. have as i watched all the people show up in support for the bereaved was incredible... and it all just seemed so sincere and pure... i just don't see that happening on a large extent in my future, there's really no common bond to provide a foundation for such relationships with most of even who i call my close friends... i mean i know there are people who would do a lot for me... but on the other hand, some of those same people i've just slowly been losing contact with, that and i keep meeting new people, or just becoming closer friends with people, but i find it really hard to figure out a way to predict what the future of that friendship woudl be, in a perfect world i'd just have everyone i like live around me and have mandatory dinners with everybody, but that ain't happening, unless i win the lotto... in any case yeah i just am envious of those particular bonds... i think i may have them with my family friends my age... well maybe... i dunno... so yeah funerals are just something i don't like... they also remind me of how desensitized that i can be, although i think it's purely a defensive reaction for my mind, but i'm glad my desensitization does still wear off, or maybe not glad... i really can't describe to you how heartwrenching it is to hear someone crying over the loss of their husband, and you really can't do anything to help at all... death just makes everyone else helpless to act to fix it... but i think that most indians do well with it, due to the reincarnation beliefs a lot have... the soul, ain't dead, just moving on... i think if i ever do get around to choosing a religion, i'd probably go with something along those lines... but yeah.. i really really really was affected by it, cuz i started to think about what would make me cry like that, and it would be the loss of any of my nuclear family... i take my sister, mom & dad for granted as being constants in my life... ahh hell this is taking longer than i thought... to continue later tonight... 5/12/02 - (continuation of yesterdays ramblings, out of order for continuity...) 5:07 PM... hmmm woke up this morning in an unhappy mood... guess just aftereffects of yesterday... had some weird dreams too... another thing that really was bothering me was that how is one supposed to comfort one's parents? well actually in my particular case, my dad and i are super alike, always a smiling face to the outside of the world... he spoke yesterday's funeral... i could tell he didnt want to, but he kinda got forced to by this other guy... but it was really weird watchign him speak like that.. he did a really good job i thought, but the whole time i was really grateful that my dad is the way he is, i mean would have had no idea on how to say anything to make him feel better... even on the ride home we didnt talk about it too much, just went and got some food and talked about other stuff... but yeah, how are you supposed to help the ones that all your life have been helping you?... what makes this all worse, is that as u get older more and more people pass away... i don't think it makes it any easier... hmm i thought i'd be writing more today.. but i think my brain has already started to self-protecting me by burying my thoughts down deep once again... hopefully won't reemerge anytime soon... i could use a break from this weekend...
5/11/02 - 3:00 AM - actually writing this on saturday evening, but i felt the need to separate last night and today... first off, my friend andy has gotta be one of the coolest guys i know, he is know rocking a Mohawk... freakin rawsome. pub time was good, i got my vegetables for the week there :-p... one truly thankful i'd like to mention as a side note... i've always been lucky enought to like reading, it's been awhile since i've done it for fun but the last week or so has been very good about it... one added thing to just the pleasure of reading is that i've never before read a whole bunch nonsolitarily... reading in the same room as others reading is something, well i don't know how to exactly describe it, but the few times over the past weeks that the opportunity has happened, either myself just reading & talking with others, or just myself and others reading has really been quite enjoyable... don't care if u think i'm a nerd for reading but i like it :-p... ok so that's the end of brevity for now... not sure if the the next post is gonna have much fun to it...
5/10/02 - 8:28 PM... a longish day... so i really am amazed i haven't been fired from work yet... been slacking much in that aspect... but i have reason to slack, honestly i don't seem to be doign much there... i get in today and there's like 15 requests for me to do stuff and i look through all the reqeusts and most of them are already done, but no one tells each other anything... but i did what needed to be done in like 2 hours... so i had to pretend to work for 3...i don't think i can ever function at a real job/workplace because i'm getting a lot better at pretending to work than really working now hehe... succombed to a few drinks tonight, i think i may have the makings of a alcoholic if i ever decided not to be productive (well future productive) in my life... but it does taste good... will continue this later...
5/10/02 - 2:18 AM ugh... mouth tastes not good... but i guess body detoxification has something to do with that... so i tried clanign the room today... ummm NO.. .in fact my bed now has even more stuff on it... and i lost a button my pants some how.. i'm amazed they didn't fall off randomly thsi evevning while walking around, thank god for my subconscious telekinetic suspenders... so head is slighlty fuzzy, drinking at 6 pm heavily does that to one i suppose, i think it's my body say "HEY GO TO BED SPUTID" (yeah spelt it wrong on purpose)... The day was a good one i suppose... fell asleep for 25 of the 30 minutes my 1.5 hour class today, so sleeping in class and getting out early is a double bonus... then well i really shoulda studied for a midterm, buti just sat around, then walked around, then decided that i'd go find the book i was reading for fun at home in the bookstore, so i just pulled up a chair there and finished the book eheh... ended up just crammign for the last 30 min b4 class and the midterm, well i think i actually did good... i slighlty understood the problems which is nice, and i finished all of the test which is super nice... tonight was fun, although the line was long, went out to see the uci observatory, but the line to get in it was ridiculous, so i just saw stuff through Frankie's telescope... manilly Juipter.. .i think i'll be able to point it out anytime now :)... ok it's bed time. eyes are not letting me read what the hell i'm typing en more... but we'll test my typing skills for one sentence to guage my tiredness: The quick red fox jumped over the lazy brown dog (woo hoo no mistakes, unless i've mistaken the entire sentence, i thought that was the one that let u use all the letters of the alphabe at once :)
5/9/02 - 9:10 AM - ok i seriously need to clean today, it's starting to turn into boderline squalor here :-(
5/9/02 - 9:07 AM, oh man i'm tired. T- 6.5 hours til test :-(... i guess i should start studying soon :-p... had the weirdest dreams this morning... but alas i have forgotten already... Note to ALL, i think i'm gonna go check out the observatory tonight, neone else gonna?
5/9/02 - 2:49 AM, OK I'm really getting pissed off at this stupid thing... it didnt save any of the work i put in to the other sections :( and oh man i pretty much mentioned something about everyone i saw today :-( i'm gonna have to figure out a better way maybe... or try to remember what i typed in like a half hour ago... not happening :-(... i give up it's bedtime.
5/9/02 - 2:41 AM, ok all done for now... i had a really good day after lab tonight... much sitting, smiling, laughing, wandering, watching, reading, typing, eating, drinking, breathing, and BEING was done... Being is especially good. Also I think i'm a smile whore sometimes, it always makes me feel good to see others smiling, i'll pretty much prostitute myself in any way to make that happen :-p... but i don't think it's a bad thing :-p...
5/9/02 - 2:14 AM, jeebus what a long day, i started at like 6 or 7 yesterday morning... so i watched die hard with a vengeance this morning to kill some time... u know i really like bruce willis, i always seem to like ne of his movies, he does kinda play the same guy all the time, but it makes sense to stick with what you're good at... got a midterm score back today... surprisingly did well, i had accomplished my goal of being first one done on the test (I'd rather be first than right), but was expecting quite the dismal performance, thank you scantron gods!... Lab was... well horrible as usual... i swear she's gotta find a better way of lecturing... 2 straight hours of her just reading off her notes, then writing what she jsut read on the board just doesn't appeal to me... i was getting so antsy i started just pacing up and down the aisles (now on a side note, the word aisle is just weird, how can u have the majority of the letters in a word silent?)... and then the lab of course took the rest of the two hours... my partner and i were first ones done due to some creative timing, we decided 15 minutes can be rounded down to 10... after lab got a green tea sobe, jeebus i think i'm getting addicted to it, it's so sweet and delicious and tea-y (yes new adjective!)... attended the election fiasco today for chsc... i think most people are getting what they wanted in that... let's see... oh yeah hehe i attended 1020's house meeting tonight... was different hehe... but i got to make a suggestion and everythign hehe... even voted on their banquet lol... i kinda do miss that house sometimes, although this year in 1012 has been freaking rawsome... also bought alcohol for minors... i feel it's my civic duty to, after all there were elders who bought for me when i was a minor :-p (oh so long ago)... ended the night with a combination of sittin, music, book, and donuts (edible and figurative)... well actually ending the night with this profile writing hee hee... and so it ends for now... u know what though.. i'm gonna have to start keeping a notepad on me or something like Norm MacDonald's "note to self" tape recorder, so i can remember stuff at the time it happens... this waiting till i'm half asleep trying to remember just ain't cuttin it...
5/8/02 - 7:39 PM, ahh tummy is full, thank you mr. carl's jr. so let's see how to begin... well one thing is i'm really glad i am amused very easily... the amount of fun I (and i think some others as well) had with a spoon & packets of hot sauce from del taco was incredible. although it's pretty hard withstanding a barrage from multiple sides... i was just waiting for one of them to EXPLODE, that woulda been hilarious... food last night was delicious, i'd especially like to thank whoever's brilliant idea to bring del taco tacos to the fiesta, well that was just GENIUS :-p (hee go me, mario & ben)... but all food was delicious & i got to have jello mmmmmmmm... Highlights of the night also include Thumb Twiddling, Fake Bowling, Basketball Watching, Couch Flipping, and not Homeworking... so all in all a good night :-)... todays events a bit later... oh yeah one point, and i really was kinda put off by this, not sure exactly why... BUT isn't kinda weird when someone who really never talks to you, or hangs out or nething, comes and asks a group of people for a favor, that really it's kinda a lame favor, since it's really not something that's absolutely necessary... but yeah... newayz... things today well i'll get to that later on :-p...
5/8/02 - 11:20 AM - GODDAMNIT I JUST UPDATED AND IT DIDN'T SAVE... I FUCKING WROTE LIKE FOR 20 MINUTES STRAIGHT... i'm mad :-(, i'll try again after lab today
5/7/02, 5:05 PM - woo hoo my reason for sitting is back online :-p... but alas can't think of nethign to write about just yet... hehe, i got soo much to remember to write back up here hehe..
5/7, 10:16 AM - jeebus, up at 6 today, again i amaze myself on how productive i can be when there arent other people online to talk to at that godawful hour... also i think the fact that i finally get the sense of "oh shit i got a lot to do this morning, so i better focus"... still didnt get much midterm studyign done, i think this may be one of the least prepared times i've ever been... werid huh? in anycase, good old irvine weather this morning, overcast, and then it'll probably be blazing this afternoon.... i took a couple naps this morning... it was very weird, i went back to my old style from waaaay back in high school about dreaming about normal everyday life... i had one dream about a convesation about my friend who hasn't come back from germany from EAP, but i thought he had in my dream and had a pretty much full blown conversation with him about his return, and i think i pretty much dreamt his mannerisms & thoughts correctly, maybe i got some some hidden clairvoyance (yeah i kcnow that's probably spelled wrong hehe) in ne case, off to a long day of doing stuff.. .hope everyone has a good day... hopefully something this evening will make up for the long day, i'm really feeling not myself at the moment :-(
5/7, 12:41 AM - phooey on mbi once again... in necase, had a good dinner with bethrothed & youngin, i think it was quite amusing... studying was accomplished some... although i probably should put in a good 12 more hours... either that or sleep... still need to make a final draft of a paper tonight.... que horrible... musicwise been listening to Clipse - Grindin & Camron - Thats Hey Ma... tv/movie wise nothing today :-( how sadness... although i heard there are a lot of kit kat commercials on tv... i also heard today's episode of 7th heaven was the worst ever... overall i'd say today was very nice... only thing is that good days like today make me think about what i'm gonna miss after 6/15... i wish i'd hurry up and win the lottery so i could just be a student forever... or i need to distract myself with changes, any suggestions?
5/6 - 6.20 pm... booooo on mbi once again... had a nice day of half-assing work... and a rare mid-day nap out of class... hope everyone has a good rest of the day night... i know mine shall be full of doing stuff i shoulda done yesterday :-P... should be home all night (after dinner) so come by for a study party.. ahhaha.... NO. but come by newayz.. i probalby won't get ne work started til like midnight newayz hehe... Got a free lunch today though... it was awesome... i just had to pick my friend up from work and BAM, free lunch for me, i'm glad i have friends who are working for real for moneys :-) hehe... okies... off to red robin for steak fries... mmm deliciousnessity...
5/6/02, 8:13 AM... And MBI get's another point in the LAME category... so let's see... slept like a BABY last night... hehe i think it helped that i watched fast times a ridgemont high while falling asleep... man i love that movie... although i think this was the first time i watched it straight through :-)... today is gonna be waaaaay long and tiring unfortunately... i'm up for anything to procrastinate though hehe... so if u think of something fun let me know :-P... ok... i think i'll go back to sleep... i'm feeling its waaaay too early at the moment... hehe
5/5/02, 8:00 pm... ok... i'm really disappointed in mbi... i was looking forward to updating this week not so exciting weekend's events :-P... but newayz lets see what i can do here... weekend was okies, waaaay too much homework i had to do though, but got to see some old hs friends so that was nice... parents... well u can't live with em (or i can't nemore) but they are good in small amounts hehe... really unsure of what's gonna happen post june... also i need to make a point in getting in touch with people more... i feel sometimes things are slipping away, but i just havent found time to learn how to lasso it back in (like that cowboy reference?)... in necase, happy thoughts of the night: waking up with your laundry all done (thanks mom)... stealing turtles, talking in hallways, reunification with roommate, and procrastinating... that's it for now... 99 & sweet dreams & good morning!
5/3/02 - 12:52 AM... oh yes one last thign, the battle for kristl's stuffed animals is in full effect... right now i made her turtle into ninja alpine climber :-P...
5/3/02 - 12:33 AM... midterm went well i think... pretty ez with open note
i suppose... then lunch at the locus and fun with puzzles... i really don't
like puzzles sometimes... stupid rules aobut pieces fitting together correctly...
then more class then came back and have been definitley been chilling... read
for the first time in a while for fun... good old star wars books, can't wait
itl next week... heheh EPISODE II... but yes i was glad to see i still got my
100pgs an hour rate still... hehe... then just getting pissed off at the ASUCI
later... stupid pub bux fiasco... and then back here for a walk to starbucks
and sitting... newayz i'm off to bed... i had much on my mind but am too tired
:-)
5/2/02 - 12:32 AM... well that was slightly productive... only dozed off a few
times on our o so comfortable couch... and was able to flip through 100 pages,
not sure if i read any of it though.. oh yeah one thing i did learn tonight,
well according to peter, Rabbits don't eat Weed. go figure huh?
5/1/02 - 11:18 PM... midterm tomorrow... 300 pages to read... i'm on page -5 (i'm not sure if i even have all the books :-P, books are still in the book bag)... today was good... well kinda.... so i've been gettin into the habit of just getting up early to do homework in the morning after wasting the nights away... so i get up at 7 today... wouldnt u know it i'm done by 8:30... it was RIDICULOUS... i coulda slept for at least 3 more hours... ahh well spent the time sitting & watchign Fist of Legend with the superdope Jet Li. English Dubbing once again is hilarious. then, hmm went to lab, did lab, ugh sooo lame having to wait on TA to finish lecturing when u've been done with the experimient for the last half hour... ah well, still got out almsot an hour early which rocks. and then u know did the usual... sat around much... but i can't believe i almost forgot about free baskin robbins ice cream tonight... thank god someone didnt want to give up their parking spot so i had to drive em hehe (j/k)... then islands for dinner, to go in fact... it's quite convenient ordering ont he phone while driving for takeout... then houee meeting... and then ping pong... and now more sitting... can't think of any pressing thoughts or issues in my head... i think i've stopped thinking in general... okies time to start studyign... most likely will write again tonight... sorry if not too entertaining anymore... i think i'm running out of quirkyness possibly? tomorrow u may get a drunken stupor msg though, those can be fun :-P
Priors: 04/02 05/02 06/02 07/02 08/02 09/02 10/02 11/02 12/02 01/03